"no names please, no names"

Any culture vultures out there will recognise the quote from Some LIke It Hot , but enough of Tony Curtis doing a bad Cary Grant impression on on to business. Without getting on to specifics, you just know Rachels watching, red editting pen at the ready, I just wanted to comment about the recent reviews of this site that have appeared elsewhere, just to redress the balance somewhat.

The one thing that has struck me is that whilst recent reviews have been valid but of a very personal nature and reading through the comments left in their wake i think that people are getting the wrong idea about the site. The site has been painted as a vipers nest of intrigue and machievellian double dealing by some. The main problem i have is that a forum is the sum total of the people that visit and so any problems and personal issues are only those that are brought here by members.

I also think of these sites as being like working in a big company. Some people will become good friends, most will remain good natured colleages and a few will become people who rub you up the wrong way, such is life, at the end of the day everyone is someone elses weirdo, as they say. Unfortunatly its the few antagonists that are the most vocal and the site is thus tainted by their view of it as the happy majority will remain silent.

My thoughts are not aimed personally at anyone in particular as my friends and enemies are totally different to everyone elses. I guess this is a bit of a ramble, an outpouring of thoughts as they occur to me, but I just wanted to reassure people, newer writers in particular, that its not as negative and double dealing here as its been painted and in the same way that some have been driven to write their thoughts in the form of a review, i wanted to put my thoughts down too.

Peoples views are the world are shaped by their experiences and my experience of the site are obviously more positive than many that have gone public as it were. Hope that reassures people some what. Any thoughts?

You should write a review!

It is never nice to read a review aimed at you and I think rachel has had an unfair "blast" from a couple of people lately.

Us "antagonists" are often people who have a strong point of view and enjoy debating it but some people just can't accept that it is not personal and try to take it one step further. That is when the Victim syndrome kicks in. A prime example of Victim Syndrome is Shabaz formely of Big brother, who loved being the victim and would exagerate every meaning and word to be anti-him. That is what these reviews appear to be in my opinion.

Yes, I am slated in two of them and if I am the crux of their wrath, then let them get on with it, makes me smile to think that I make such an impression in someones life that they feel that they need to write about me.

Angus wrote:

Us "antagonists" are often people who have a strong point of view and enjoy debating it but some people just can't accept that it is not personal and try to take it one step further. That is when the Victim syndrome kicks in. A prime example of Victim Syndrome is Shabaz formely of Big brother, who loved being the victim and would exagerate every meaning and word to be anti-him. That is what these reviews appear to be in my opinion.

And thats pretty much the crux of it I guess, the seeking of attention. Also one of the problems is the printed page format, its often difficult to see the sly grin or tongue in cheek expression which in real life would accompany some of the comments we make. You are a typical example. I only have got to know you since you resurfaced and associated you with some bad press. Its not until you spend a bit of time talking to people and get to work them out. Yes you're a sarcastic bastard, I for one appreciate that in a person, but people can often take that the wrong way and build comments into something bigger than their true nature. Some people even thrive on it. I guess the way to use what we do here is realise that the chances are we are all only ever going to be the equivilent of pen pals who share a common interest in writing, we can chose not to be here when ever we want and once the PC is switched off its a world that dosnt really exist. Maybe it depends on how much you have going on in your real life that dictates how seriously you take this. I bet yo have enough on your plate with the business and I know i have. I'm rambling again. Ahhh..lunch is ready.

I do have a nice side, it is just not on the outside so no one sees it.

That clarifies everything a bit - I've only done a few posts but I was unsure if the responses made to mine were to provoke a debate or an argument for argument's sake. Like steerpyke wrote, if you can't see the smile or hear the tone, people can take comments that are meant to be challenging pretty badly. If you take it in good humour though, this site seems like a lot of fun!

Yeh don't be put off by postings that you find strange. We do have local characters, but most won't bite.

lol, I've noticed that already! Best thing to do... become a local!

Just be you, whoever you are. Whether you become a character or not will depend on you.

Bollocks, put people down at every opportunity and disagree with everything regardless if you mean it or not.

That may be your style Angus, but some people here are more positive in their approach.

I have read all the reviews and for me there are none that are particularly damaging or negative to the forum. In fact some of hte negative ones bring up some good points that the gushing positive ones omit in an attempt to be overly nice. The personal remarks are not particularly helpful to the consumer but as it is their opinion if they were less obviously naming those involved then I would have little problem with it.

Thingywhatsit wrote:

That may be your style Angus, but some people here are more positive in their approach.

Lie you mean?

I am a very positive person Rachel, I have to be in life and in business but I am also very blunt and to a degree, honest.

if you want white doves and pink fur, fine but dont blame me when the piss stains show through.

Quote :

Lie you mean?

I am a very positive person Rachel, I have to be in life and in business but I am also very blunt and to a degree, honest.

if you want white doves and pink fur, fine but dont blame me when the piss stains show through.

No, I don't mean that. I mean that there is nothing wrong with suggesting things but the manner in which you do it is often off putting for members. Take for example your mention to someone that wanted to write a review on a new puppy they are acquiring. You said something about ciao mentality, but would it not have been kinder and more pleasant for the person that posted to read something constructive like "When you have experience of the puppies, you could write a super review", rather than demeaning people and putting them off the site. We know your manner. We accept you are an ornery so and so, but new members don't know this and can easily be put off, and their contribution to the site is valuable because it gives the place fresh impetus and input.

AH, now I see what you mean.

I should be nicer to new people so you can have more members.

I thought you were being constructive, my mistake.

Quote :

AH, now I see what you mean.

I should be nicer to new people so you can have more members.

I thought you were being constructive, my mistake.

No, you should be polite because politeness works better than rudeness. Is that a concept that is hard for you ?

I do not think I was rude.

I stated that someone waiting to get a puppy to write a review about it was typical of the Ciao mentality *in my opinion*

Rude to me is patronising someone for saying such a thing.

Fair point. The ideology of the forum when it was started was that ALL members and that includes you, should be able to feel relaxed, be polite, though try to show others by example their points of view so that different views can be shared.

You should move the "In Memory of Angus" thread here then and make it sticky. Then everyone would be well informed.