Crap on a stick

Delayed posting this for a while to avoid naming or people going off on a hunt (which you will all probably do anyway) but I read a review a few weeks back that just confirmed by view that length does matter.

Most of us have an opinion on whether track by track album reviews are good or not but I felt a certain feeling of resignation when I read a page by page magazine review that (if I had bothered) would have took longer to read than the actual magazine given it is targetted at the home alone legging wearing, Romford facelift, pram pushing brigade.

Not saying it was a badly written review but all the same page by page is overkill.

Anyway my review of the Bible should be finished by 2011 at this rate.

atticusuk wrote:

Romford facelift

What's the difference between a Romford and Croydon facelift?

I know what you mean and a little while ago I also read a couple of magazine reviews (not keeping it general but THAT week's edition - useless once the new one comes out.) They even get the odd diamond but the question remains, why when it's yesterday's/last week's or month's news - quite literally.

I normally rate page by page magazine reviews lower and occasionally leave a message.

I've asked Ciao many, many times to confirm their writing standards and unsurprisingly, never get an email in return. After all, most Diamond awarded reviews do not even match Ciao's own published guidelines!

If Ciao are going to continually reward 'description' rather than opinion and experience, the least they could do is update their writing standards in the Community Centre.

I wouldn't agree with it, but at least it'd be there in black and white.

atticusuk wrote:

Anyway my review of the Bible should be finished by 2011 at this rate.

Now what ever you do, don't spoil the ending . Lisa x

Minnitee wrote:

atticusuk wrote:

Romford facelift

What's the difference between a Romford and Croydon facelift?

About 30 miles I reckon.

It is scary when they dole out crowns for a review that has a shelf life of a week or month at most.

Anyway I have finished Genesis so I may just publish it in segments to max my earnings.

You can be sure I won't be hunting down that review.

What was the writer thinking? Is it supposed to be some sort of reader's digest round-up. Read this review and you won't need to buy the darn magazine. Maybe they intend to update it every single week.

I'd despair, but I'm too tired.

Is a Romford facelift the one that's done with a very tight top knot and lots of rubber bands?

koshkha wrote:

Is a Romford facelift the one that's done with a very tight top knot and lots of rubber bands?

Yep, accessories are usually large hoop ear rings, kappa or lonsdale tracksuit top or black leggings, various tattoos, argos gold jewelery and of course a pushchair.

Ooooh dear, think my magazine review last month was quite long - but I don't think it's the one you're talking about!

Ive seen countless Music reviews which don't neccessarily have a track by track analysis (and Diamond worthy) although Ciao/Dooyoo is probably the first place I would choose for more involved writing, particularly if its an album I want to buy; Amazon tends to show a lot of reviews which touch the surface.

I've just seen a food product review which along with a couple of paragraphs of packaging description, ifull ingridents list, nutritional values has how to heat it, store it, freeze and defrost it. The taste bit was good but was only a fraction of the review People were giving Es to it just because the perosn had made so much effort. I'm sorry most of that stuff is common sense or not something you would make a purchasing decision. This was alongside a quick reivew of a drink that got to th point and told me exactly what I needed to know! Should different categories have a suggested word length??

duskmaiden wrote:

I've just seen a food product review which along with a couple of paragraphs of packaging description, ifull ingridents list, nutritional values has how to heat it, store it, freeze and defrost it. The taste bit was good but was only a fraction of the review People were giving Es to it just because the perosn had made so much effort. I'm sorry most of that stuff is common sense or not something you would make a purchasing decision. This was alongside a quick reivew of a drink that got to th point and told me exactly what I needed to know! Should different categories have a suggested word length??

I don't think it needs to be over complicated with rules..but it does take some honest rating...and not on length. Frankly five lines would be better than 1000 words with some food reviews..

This is the standards to expect from Ciao though. I mean, try writing about 2000 words on something (putting it through the likes of a spell checker and stay on-topic in one sense) and NOT pick up any exceptional ratings. Even if it is poorly written it would still pick up Es for effort from numerous members.

Can we please stop the examples? Tis not allowed!

I did not say who it wasnor th actual product just the category Apoligies

People will look and then find - we are mostly nosey gits to be fair. It was one thing at the top where it was weeks ago, but not when it was so recent.

Tis all good!

Ok will not do it again